Had the meeting with Lisa and Gwen at MTU this morning regarding the logos for the repair café. We had our top 3 and they said that they didn’t see any reason not to go with our 1st choice. We chatted about what tweaks we’d like to see, and what we are allowed to do with the logo and branding strategy, before making a plan of execution.
Took Sprite out for her walks …
Went to class. It was only Arum, but still had a good class. … Did my workout. Did a little training …
… That’s about it …
So what am I doing this all for?
8 May 24 Coyote Jibberish
May 9, 2024 at 12:45 am (Coyote Jibberish, Hodgepodge, My Own Private Train Wreck)
Tags: Blog, Day To Day, Depression & Anxiety, Journal, Life, Listless Melancholy, Random
6 May 24 Coyote Jibberish
May 7, 2024 at 3:31 am (Hodgepodge, My Own Private Train Wreck, Coyote Jibberish)
Tags: Blog, Day To Day, Depression & Anxiety, Journal, Life, Limbo, Listless Melancholy, Procrastination, Random
Another day of limbo … That’s what it feels like. … And it feels like I’m saying that same thing every day … The spell checker isn’t working … With my dyslexia, how many mistakes have I made, how many am I making? …
I can’t seem to focus and figure out Patreon and Discord. Well, I’m figuring out Discord alright, but for some reason I’m afraid to start promoting it on the website and social media … You know what? Give me a minute here … Did it! Got the Discord link up on the website … I just need to get over myself I guess. I have this notion that it has to be perfect, that I need to know all the ins and outs before I set it in motion. When in actuality, it doesn’t and I don’t. It also doesn’t hurt to get it started … I’ll figure it out as we go along …
5 May 24 Coyote Jibberish
May 5, 2024 at 10:24 pm (Hodgepodge, My Own Private Train Wreck, Coyote Jibberish)
Tags: Blog, Day To Day, Depression & Anxiety, Journal, Life, Listless Melancholy, Random
Can I put this off another day … I’m just not wanting to write about yesterday & today … Just as always, it’s not that I did all that much to write about anyway …
4 May 24 Coyote Juibbrish
May 5, 2024 at 8:11 am (Hodgepodge, My Own Private Train Wreck, Coyote Jibberish)
Tags: Blog, Day To Day, Depression & Anxiety, Journal, Life, Listless Melancholy, Random
Another day…
28 Apr 24 Coyote Jibberish
April 28, 2024 at 10:09 pm (Coyote Jibberish, Hodgepodge, My Own Private Train Wreck)
Tags: Blog, Day To Day, Depression & Anxiety, Journal, Life, Listless Melancholy
I think I’m gonna have to write more about today tomorrow. … I just don’t feel much like writing … Had the Repair Café today. It’s only for 3 hours but it seems like an all day affair … Ate nothing but sugar today too, so I’m eagar to get the day over with and tomorrow started with a clean slate. That’s right. Clean slate as in diet, exerscise and so on …
27 Apr 24 Coyote Jibberish
April 28, 2024 at 12:20 am (Coyote Jibberish, Hodgepodge, My Own Private Train Wreck)
Tags: Blog, Day To Day, Depression & Anxiety, Journal, Life, Listless Melancholy, Pens, Random
Only one student showed up for class today … Again, plans to train and video and this and that all fell through. …
There was a little street fair in town. I ended up buying a €12 burger. €12 could have bought me nearly a weeks worth of groceries. … At least it was a damn good burger …
I splurged a bit and got Kevin a handcrafted yew wood pen for his Birthday. The wood came from a tree that was over 350 years old. … I love pens, writing implements … I can’t think of the words right now to discribe why. One pen literally writes a lot of history, a lot of stories … I’m weirder than most. The disposible pens that I use up, I keep the carcases. It’s a strange way to remember and reflect all that was done, all that was accomplished with that pen …
Tomorrow is another Repair Café … Again, I’m burnt out …
26 Apr 24 Coyote Jibberish
April 27, 2024 at 1:47 am (Coyote Jibberish, Hodgepodge, My Own Private Train Wreck)
Tags: Blog, Day To Day, Depression & Anxiety, Journal, Life, Listless Melancholy, Rabbit Hole, Random
I stared down a rabbit hole for the better part of today. Why is it so alluring? Is it because it’s easy? Just to fall in and let it take you away … If not this rabbit hole, how about the one just inches away … There’s so many of them you don’t even have to chose! Just let go and fall …
I did book all the train and bus tickets for when Kevin visits. I’m doing a dry run on Monday. Going to Dublin, picking up Kevin from the airport, getting the bus to our hotel … I want it all to run smoothly …
I’m dreading teaching class tomorrow. …
24 Apr 24 Coyote Jibberish
April 24, 2024 at 11:40 pm (Coyote Jibberish, Hodgepodge, My Own Private Train Wreck)
Tags: Blog, Boredom, Depression & Anxiety, Going Through The Motions, Journal, Life, Listless Melancholy, Random
It’s that same old same old. I got a lot done in these past couple of days, but at the same time felt that I did nothting. I’m sure there’s a paradox named after it, though I wouldn’t know what it’s called.
People are so busy these days. Myself included. Still it all seem very routine. It all seems as though we are all just going through the motions. I’m finding that I’m doing that more and more. Just going through motions.
I worry about boredom. It’s not me being bored. I’m rarely bored when left to my own devices. I worry when other people get bored, in particular, friends. I feel that I’m responsible and I want to remedy their boredom in some way or another. It’s more than a worry when it comes to Kevin. With him, I’m down right terrified. I know several couples who have said that they’ll stay together for as long as it stays interesting. Now they’ve been together for decades at this point. It’s something that they have, that Kevin and I don’t. They have history to keep things interesting. I worry, I’m terrified that Kevin will find me boring at some point, and be done with me.
HA! I guess I just confessed to one of my triggers. Or is it buttons. … Pressure points? … Is it because of some kind of childhood trauma? Maybe? But I do start staring deeper into that rabbit hole when I think that Kevin is bored, and/or bored with me.
19 Apr 24 Coyote Jibberish
April 19, 2024 at 11:13 pm (Coyote Jibberish, Hodgepodge, My Own Private Train Wreck)
Tags: Blog, Day To Day, Depression & Anxiety, Enthusiasm, Journal, Life, Listless Melancholy, Random, Waning Enthusiasm, Writing
Would it be too much to ask to take another miss on writing today? I haven’t written a proper post since … What? Monday? …
Writing about my day, seems to highlight how trite it all is. … Maybe that’s why I’m so tired all the time?
I keept quoting Charles Kinsley … And if you follow me here and read a lot of my post you’re probably sick of me constantly quoting; “We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all that we need to make us really happy is something to be enthusiastic about.” I’m not quoting it for effect, or for everyone to read. I keep quoting it for myself. To keep myself in check. To stay focused. But it’s losing it’s effect, because I’ve lost my enthusiasm for most things. … Well, there is Kevin. I’m enthusiastic about him. He’s maybe the only thing that I am enthusiastic about? Which isn’t good. It’s like putting all your eggs in one basket. …
I think that is at the core of my maladies. That I’ve lost my enthusiasm for most things …
16 Apr 24 Coyote Jibberish
April 16, 2024 at 10:07 pm (Coyote Jibberish, Hodgepodge, My Own Private Train Wreck)
Tags: Blog, Day To Day, Depression & Anxiety, Gardening, Journal, Life, Listless Melancholy, Longing, Random, Teaching
The just flew … I went to bed at 4am and got up at 10am. Did Sprites walks, made brunch and dinner … Just going through the motions.
I repotted an apple tree sprout into a bigger pot. I sprouted cayenne pepper seeds from a store baught pepper. So I potted about a dozen of them in these little tiny pots. I gave the rest to Alina 3 doors up. My corn and pumpkins still haven’t sprouted. I planted them over a month ago … It would be so nice to have my own proper garden and the money and equpment to endlessly putz around in it if I wanted to.
Posted a photo of my Aunts and Uncles with my Grandparents on Facebook. I tagged what cousins I’m connected with and my Uncle Charlie. It’s getting a lot of tracktion … Still, I doesn’t seem like they are my family. I may have only seen them in person once, a long long time ago. It feels like I a posted a random photo of someone elses family. The cousins are making comments about it that I have nothing to relate them to. … I’m only a spectator in my own family …
I taught my tai chi & qi gong class. I had 15 people signed up through the Life Long Learning Festival, only 6 showed up. There was a student that had travelled from Boise, that was suppose to come to class, but his tour is staying Skibbereen and the last bus back to Skibbereen was at 7:45pm ‘er there abouts. So he wasn’t able to come to class after all. … I really need to get my ass moving on getting the school up on Discord, YouTube & Patreon before there’s no more school left.
I really miss Kevin. Sure we have a running dialogue through out the day, but I still miss him. I want to be with him. Even if we’re just sitting quietly doing our own thing, I want to be with him … I’m tired of imagining what it would be like if we were together …
The 3rd Coyote 