Sketch Dirty

This was my attempt to “sketch dirty” Ha! I know what you’re thinking & you’re being naughty! ūüėČ

Back in my days of elementary school we actually were graded on our art work! I always got really high marks until the devastating day in 6th grade when Mrs. Krebs brought in an art student from some fancy smancy college to teach us about “art” by sketching our sneakers. I went straight to work meticulously drawing every line of my K-Mart wannabe Addias knockoffs! I even used a ruler and that weird thing that you were suppose to use to draw perfect circles but ending up stabbing the kid in leg that you sat next to for eating your glue… But I digress… When I was done I presented a very pristine pair of my kid sweaty grubby sneakers, with perfectly tied laces and a very articulate shadow to show dimension, the hippy dippy artsy farsty student art teacher, GASPED! At first I thought it be one of shear delight from the glory of my art work! OH! But No! No! No!

“That’s Not right!” She exclaimed! “That’s not what your sneakers look like!”

My nostrils started to flair, not in rage, but in attempts to hold back gushing tears of utter confusion! Of course it looked like my sneakers! I sketched MY sneakers! How can MY sketch of MY sneakers look like anything other than MY SNEAKERS!

In her own desperation to keep this racially ambiguous girl from self distruction, she scrambled off into another classroom and came back with a sketch of 2 fried eggs and some spaghetti. I don’t think I was ever more confused.

“You want it to look more like this…” She said trying to be consoling. “Your’s is to ‘clean’. You want to ‘sketch dirty’…”

I had not a clue of what she was talking about. I was to busy wallowing in self pitty & doubt. She gave me a “D” and Mrs. Krebs still hung it on the wall with the others as a constant reminder of my failed career as a 6th grade artist.

It wasn’t until I was in college when my AWESOME friend Erin was taking an art history class as an elective that I kinda sorta understood what sketching dirty meant… Yeah I looked through her books… Still, I don’t think I’ve even remotely grasped the concept… Yet! ūüėČ

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Yeah, I “Do” Lent

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It’s the day before St. Patrick’s Day in Cork City Ireland and people are concerned about whether they will honour their Lent “resolution”. I was told a while back when I first move here, that “They” usually allow you to “cheat” on St. Patrick’s Day. But that’s not what I’m wanting to write about here. In this conversation that I had with a friend who was trying to justify eating meat (AKA a¬† West Cork Burger Company juicy blue cheese lamb burger) I told them that I was giving up buying ready made meals for my lunches and dinners at work. That I was going to make all my lunches and dinners at home and .bring them to work. The look of confusion and surprise on their face was astounding! They knew that I wasn’t Christian/Catholic, or any religion in particular so their confusion was justified.

“WTF! Why are doing Lent!?” They exclaimed “Your not Christian!”

No, I’m not, but do I have to of that religion to believe that something is simply a good practice?

Before Christianity people gave up eating meat during this time of the year because their live stock were pregnant and giving birth to more livestock. It was good practice to ensure that they didn’t deplete their herd so that it can multiply and grow. Pancake Tuesday was a way of getting rid of the old eggs, so they can distinguish the new eggs that were laid.¬† You let these eggs hatch so again you can have more chickens! When Christianity was incorporated into this tradition or vis versa, the old hen that doesn’t lay eggs anymore would have 40 days of pampering¬† and fattening for it’s final destination as one of the main courses for Easter dinner.

Religion aside, I felt that these are good practices, for cleansing, to go without so you don’t become indulgent. It is a good practice for saving and planning so that you are not caught out. It is a good practice to develop good habits. Making my own meals to bring to work will save me money. I make my own food that is better for me, so I’m healthier. Having more money and being healthier, I’m generally happier! So yeah I “do” Lent because it makes me happy!

 

Caught A Mouse

No, no. It’s not a euphemism. I actually did catch a mouse.¬† I used a glass and captured it, then took it outside to the compost. I released and it seemed quiet content to stay and naw on some carrot scraps.

 

People are always surprised how I do this. “Why aren’t you using traps?” “I have some extra traps you can have!” “They have these ‘human’ traps now!”…

I’ve seen 1st hand what those so called “humane” traps are like. Back in the early 2000s I was living in a basement walk out in the Nyland Co Housing Community back in Layfayette Colorado. I had told the people that were renting the house upstairs that there mice. See back then I didn’t have a phone, or wifi, or any sort of internet. The landlords of the place where living in Italy and the people upstairs were the connection to them if anything was needed. Well, they ignored me, because the mice didn’t make it up the stairs to their place … yet… They eventually did. Maybe they moved upstairs because I was so dirt poor that that my cupboards were bare and my little basement walk out was colder inside than it was outside.¬†So when the mice nested in their oven, they finally called in the exterminators. They laid down gel traps… ugh…

They did their job. The mice ran across them and got stuck. But they didn’t die. They were stuck and they screamed. Shrill, haunting screams. I had to look. There were 2 mice in one tray. One had it’s nose stuck into the gel and couldn’t breath. You could see it’s little body heave for air that wasn’t there. The other one had all 4 legs stuck in it. I heard it’s little bones snap as it struggle to get free. I couldn’t take it, I grab a sharp kitchen knife and stabbed it through their heads to put them out of their misery. From that day forward I swore I would never use gel traps again. And if at all possible never use any sort of death trap at all.

So what do I do? When I notice that there is a mouse. I ignore it. It seems to get use to me quite quickly. It might take a day or two. But eventually it gets comfortable enough to come out into the open. Even then I would ignore it for a bit longer. And then about the 3rd time that it comes out, I simple put a glass over it, slide a bit of cardboard under it, and take the whole thing out into the compost and set it free. They never run and hide when I release them out there. They just start munching on the nearest food scrap.

That’s it… It’s a better way… At least for me… I can go to sleep at night without the sounds of a screaming mouse in agony after their bones snapped trying to get out of a trap.

Speaking of sleep… There’s another mouse upstairs in the bed room. Different mouse, bigger and brownish. Maybe a baby rat. I don’t know. But in a couple of days I’ll capture it in my way and bring it out to the compost…

School Strike 4 Climate Cork Ireland 14 March 2019

I don’t have much to say… I was there. I wanted to support the kids and the Cork Environmental Forum. I marched with them from the Cork Opera House down St. Patricks Street, Grand Parade, over Parnell Bridge to City Hall! All us “Old Timers” felt out of place. This was their march, their protest. But being there with the kids and the young adults, was so every energizing and inspiring! Their creativity and enthusiasm was AWESOME!

The Youth of this world are AMAZING! They let us see into the future while reminding us of our past. This strike, this march show us that our future is in good hands!

A Memory Of Lent

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Growing up in a Catholic community in Colorado Springs Colorado, all the neighbourhood kids would brace themselves for 40 days with no candy or chocolate. But not my Brother & me. Nope. We reveled in the “offering” to “share” our Kit Kat, Snicker, or Hershy bars full well knowing that they gave them up for Lent.¬† We were the perfect tag team of temptation & damnation. So when the other kids with their inflated sense of superiority would get up on their high horses so that they could look down on us when they declined our offer with a snobby¬† “No Thanks! I’m giving up candy for Lent!”¬† We would then shrug & proceeded to eat and savour every sweet lushious morsel right in from them. It was even sweeter if adults were around to witness.

My Brother had the dicipline and controle not to eat the whole candy bar. At 3/4 of the way through he’d stop and say “Are you sure you don’t want this last bit?” When the other kid answered with more biting snobbery; “I can’t! I told you! I gave it up for Lent!” He’ll then say “I don’t want any more, so I guess I’ll throw it away.” At which point the other kid would figit & drool. Oh the thought of this perfectly good piece of candy bar going to waste… Their eyes would dart side to side, scanning to see if anyone of importance is watching.¬† The breeze stood still. …

Just as my Brother began to pull the candy bar back, their resolve would instantly disinergrate like a delicate snowflake on a hot Summer day. They’d snatch it from my Brother and smash it into their face with very little accuracy, I might add… When their face was covered in chocolate,¬† and their eyes rolled back into their eyelids fluttering from the ecstasy of such delectable sin, I would say quietly in their ear; “You’re going to burn in Hell for that!”

My Brother and I would stand in reverant silence as they trembled¬† in their Biblical fear…

Never again were they ever so high & mighty… Well, at least not until the next Lent.

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Karma – Get It Started?

Several weeks ago after working my last double shift on a Sunday at a job I despise, I got called at 3:30 AM! It’s an emergency, she’s sick and needs to go to the hospital can you come in? But I’m already working the evening shift. That would be back to back double shifts with no more than a few hours sleep! But it’s an emergency! I go in, I’m helping out, I tell myself over and over again.

It’s a mad house. Busier than it’s been in a while. I’m so tired and fatigued that I don’t really feel my legs. I have to consciously tell my self, breath in, breath out. So I make myself a cup of tea.

A customer asked me to cash out what I thought was ‚ā¨150. I swore I saw ‚ā¨150 on the machine. I pay him.¬† I go cash out the machine, but it’s only ‚ā¨50. He swears I only gave him ‚ā¨50. His word against mine. I have to take the hit. I just worked 10hrs for FREE! I have a meltdown, swore up & down that I was going to quit. But found my way safely off the roof. … I was really hating life & everything it encompasses.

A few days later, I was on my way to the job I hate, cursing every moment. As I approached the bus stop in front of the Costigan’s on Washington St. there was an old man dressed in all black with a black backpack walking along and just fell over. He was trying to get up, pulling on the partition post out side the pub to get him self up, but he just didn’t have the strength.

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When I got over to him I asked if he was OK. He said that he just needed to get on his feet. When I helped up you can tell he had a few. He held on to the partion post but his swaying was more than the post can manage. I held on to him and looked for something for him to sit down on. There were chairs out side the pub but I couldn’t hold him up and get the chair at the same time. There was a group of young men just chatting away not more than 2ft away.

“Excuse me! Excuse me! Can you grab that chair for me so that he can sit down?” One chap turned suddenly & jumped into action once he saw the situation. Then it was as though every person in front of the pub rushed in to help out. Even one of the bar men (I think) came out to help. It was surreal & amazing! Just then my bus came to take me to my crappy job that I despise. I got no hassel when I excused myself. He was being looked after.

I got on the bus. Sat next to an over weight woman alseep and drooling. I put a tissue under her chin so the slobber won’t get on her clothes. I sighed. I hate this job. I hate it! I hate it! I HATE IT! We’re understaffed & overworked. There is a nasty mean co -worker … at least she’s on holiday for 3 months… *sigh*…

I get into town early. Have a coffee at Nosh. Trying to get my head around the next 10hrs of work. … *Breathe In*… I hate this job … *Breath Out*… I still hate this job… Time to go to work…

“Hi” I say to the girl I’m taking over from.

“We have a new girl starting next week.”

“Wait? What? Really? … Part time or full time?”

“Full time. She wants 40hrs.”

My head started to spin! No more double shifts! No more 60+ hr weeks. I can sleep for more than 5 hrs! I can see what life is like during the day! I can go watch a movie! At a theater even! I can cook dinner at home! OMG! I wonder what the live in boyfriend looks like these days!

Needless to say, things got better.¬† I still hate my job. But with some rest, I have managed to come up with an exit plan. The new girl is working out wonderfully! She is such a delight! Don’t know what’s gonna happen when the nasty mean girl get’s back, but maybe if I can keep up the good Karma, it wouldn’t be so bad when she does.

I have no idea of how Karma works or even if it really exsist. But I guess it needs a kick every once in awhile to get it started in a good direction.

 

Another Irish EuroMillion…

The other day another Irish citizen won I think ‚ā¨175 million!? I was told once some time ago about the luck of the Irish – It’s not always good luck…

Well just like last month when the Irish couple won their EuroMillions, I can’t help but to think what I would do with all that cash! So like last time here is my amended list to my last post about this…

1) All the things in my last post “I Won The Lottery” including spending¬† a whole day at a comfy coffee cafe with a few of¬† some kind of hot drink and a window seat to watch the world hussle by.

2) Nurses… They deserve so much more! … So there’s a hospital just off the Western Road here in Cork City. Maybe it considered to be on the Mardyk Road? I heard that it had closed down. I would like to reopen it and have the nurses run it. A nurses hospital if you will. Doctors will be hired in on a case by case basis. Also, part of the hospital will be designated for those doctors & nurses that also have proper degrees and liscenses to practice Eastern medicines like Acupuncture. Not the strip mall accupuncturist, but proper Doctors of Chinese Medicine and so on. AND lers not forget the dulas & midwives! Let’s have another ofbthe hospital for babies to be born…

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3) I’d like to give a cool millon to the Barrack Street Band. Being a recent member, I come ro know how much more they do than performing at Lord Mayor concerts & St. Patricks’ Day Parades. They provide opportunities to learn an instument, play in a band, competitions, etc… to disadvantaged families. They are terribly¬† underfunded or not funded at all. I really don’t know. But I know they desperately need new unifoms and a copier machine. General band equipment & instuments for people to play.

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3) I’d like to set up a series of science fairs & competions where each team will have to have one 5-7 yr old, one 8-12yr old one teenager, one 20 something & one 30+ year old.¬† Each team would be given a problem/topic that¬† all 5 members will have to work on with equal participation. Then when possible the invention, products, processes that come from it will be put into production. I hear about all these amazing inventions & processes that are being created that will save the planet and what not. I’ve been hearing about them for the last 20 years. Such things like chipping¬† plastic waste, adding them to cement to create a light weight durable bricks for houses. Edible cutlery & plastic bags. But I have not seen any of them for use to the general public.

4) I want to set up a trade school of sorts. A place where people can learn how to be self sufficent. Like how to cook a meal from actual food and not a packaged product that you just add water and heat in the microwave. Or build a shelf or even a shed. Or change a light fixture. Or make your own clothes. Or basic car maintenance.

5) I’d like to fund or set up something or have a campaign to have dogs & cat spayed or nuetured. Let’s say for the next year I’ll pay for all the spay and nueturing. So just bring your cat and or your dogs in to any available vet and have it done for free!

6) OK. Last one for now… I guess Ixd lime to help out the boyfriend’s family.¬† Let’s say a million to his parents. Then a million to each of his siblings. Of course he gets a million too. Also, I’d like to give a million to my best buddy Laurie as well. She deserves it. Plus I still owe her $500 from when bailed me out of a really tough financial situation. She would never ask for it back. But this would be a great excuse to pay it back with a mollion dollars in interest!

Well, it looks like I’ll go out and by myself a Euro Millions lottery ticket… a quick pick… Maybe a National Lottery one too… anf a Daily Million…

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My Simple Treatment To A Possible Diagnoses

There is no history of cancer in my family. None what so ever. I know you think I’m joking or that I’m going to drop a bomb on this, but seriously, not one case on either side in my family…

… OK … Maybe this is the bomb…

However, nearly every person on my Father side of the family, apart from my Father himself, (… that might be because he has not been tested…) has diabetes & multipal sclerosis… I need to add here that it’s my Fathers generation & older. My cousins, the data is still being collected. Many of them have either/and/or…

My Grandparents generation didn’t take any medication for their diabetes or MS.¬† Even though some were overweight according to today’s standards, they were active and the food was better. As in they didn’t have much in the way of processed food. Well OK, they had coffee, flour, butter, etc… but that’s the most of it. It was only when they “slowed down” because of age that either the diabetes and/or MS got to them. They all lived into their late 80’s. So you have to wonder if it weren’t¬† for the disease, would they have live another 10 or even 20 years?

I have diabetes. Type 1. I’m not on any meditations for it or take insulin.¬† I can manage through diet and exercise. However, in the last several months I’ve had intermittent numbness in my toes, unwarranted joint & muscle pain, brain fog, & extreme fatigue. Now granted, between the 2 jobs I’ve been working anywhere from 60 to 90 hours a week. But I’ve been busting my ass for over 30 years! So why now?

A blood test ruled out everything else. Will need to go in for an MRI & a spinal tap for a proper diagnoses. Then if I do have MS, then there’s medication to treat THE SYMPTOMS…

Just the symptoms…

This got me thinking… If all I can do is treat the symptoms why bother with the MRI & spinal tap? Because they cost money. I’m poor. Living paycheck to paycheck. No insurance. No medical card.

My Grandparents, Great Uncles & Aunts lived with MS & diabetes into their late 80’s without any medications. Dr. Terry Whals ( Google her ) talks a lot about her MS & how she is managing it through diet.¬† I don’t personally know anyone who has MS and is managing it through diet, but it stands to reason that if my Grandparents generation managed without medication, & reports from an actual doctor with MS manages through diet, that maybe I can do the same? That instead of spending copious amounts of time money on medications & doctor visits, is to spend the time & money on tweaking my diet & lifestyle?

Eat better, live better … Seriously, what can it hurt?

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Dream Of Flood Red

It was a couple weeks ago. I wasn’t sleeping well. Got up several times, to pee, to get some water, to pee some more… When I got up for the day I was exhausted. I read some facebook messages, answered emails, made a cup of tea and sat down on the futon…

I had left my tea in the kitchen, so I got up and went into a high school music band room…

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There was a work table at one end with noise cancelling head phones. Band practice was starting soon, & I had to edit some music, so I decided to use them. I put them on and the tech guy told me to start counting. With each count I felt my chest tighten. … 5, 6, it felt like someone just jumped on my chest.

“Too much! Too much!” I yelped. And the tech guy backed off, and I could breath again.

I was actually suppose to practice with the band. But there was a substitute band  conductor today that just walked through the door, she looked just like Jackie Onassis. Soooooo, it was OK for me to leave and retrieve my tea from the kitchen.

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The sliding doors in the kitchen opened up right onto a beach, where the tide was coming in.

I looked away through the window on the opposite side of the kitchen. There was an white alpaca, not a llama, a white alpaca stuck in a snow drift on a hot Summer day. There was a Latino man hacking away at the snow, and it looked like it was hacking away at the alpaca. The alpaca broke away and leaped over to 2 young girls buying snow cones from a vendor. The alpaca knocked the 2 girls down and chomped on the snow cones. A voice over shouted “There’s no stopping him when he wants his ice cream!”

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I looked back at the beach, but the tide had come in and was about¬† to flow into the kitchen. I closed the sliding doors and called back to some unknown place; “Dad! The Flood is coming!” I wasn’t scared, or worried. Just tired & fatigued. I sat down next to the window and looked out onto the flood that had reached the window sill. The sun was setting and the flood turn blood red. I sighed a very heavy sigh.

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1pm and I’m woken up by my Love. He tells me that I asked him to. Ah, right! I have to get ready for a job I hate. …

Today, while at that awful job, I take a moment to look at my Facebook feeds. … Interesting, a Florida’s toxic red tide is decimating their population of sea turtles…

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Then I remembered my dream…

But Butt You Face Taco

You think your clever.

You carefully organize the words, double check the definitions so not to confuse fallacious with phillacious…

You reherse it, milling off the edges until it oozes with your intellectual prowessness…

You imagin all the diffrent scenarios you’ll want to use it…

…The crowd roars. You only hear the mic hit the stage as you walk out with not even a ‘fuck all’…

Possible moments present themselves but they’re not quite right. Too noisy, too dark, too bright, temperature’s wrong, not the right people, not enough people…

You’re there with your circle of friends, in you’re office meeting, in the airport, on the bus to a job you hate! Right now! RiGhT NoW! RIGHT NOW! SAY IT! DO IT! SAY IT!

“HEY! … I … uh… But… But… ”

“What’s your problem!?” They react.

“…But, butt you face… *sigh*… taco…”

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