The Unhealthy Consumer: When is it Enough? — MakeItUltra™ Psychology

Written by Dr. Perry, PhD “Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.” ~Will Rogers Wherever we look, we are constantly being fed the idea that we need more “stuff.” We have 24-hour television channels devoted entirely to entice us to buy more […]

via The Unhealthy Consumer: When is it Enough? — MakeItUltra™ Psychology


Damn The Christmas Wish List

I wrote a post before about my disdain of the Christmas Wish List. It might have been before WordPress, or even Facebook. I think I might have posted it on MySpace… Remember MySpace?

I’m certainly in the minority, or maybe the only one.

It’s fine for kids. Of course it’s great for kids. The whole ruse of if you’ve been good all year then Santa will reward you with the toys and things that you’ve wished for.  But I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about adults, grown ups, not children…

There’s something fundamentally wrong about telling other people what gifts to buy you. I can’t say why it is, or break it down scientifically or morally or in any other way. Maybe not wrong, but unpleasantly weird.

For Christmas I want this thing and I want that thing, … but we can’t appear to be greedy or materialistic so we disguise it into a “wish list” and to make it more palatable we say to each other “Let’s all make a wish list so we know what to buy you and we all can get what we want” … Everyone smiles  “Oh what a great idea” … And then the race is on. …

I have to buy this for her. I have to buy that for him. Oh! this is what they’ve been looking for for last couple of months, but it’s not on their list. This is what they want but it’s not the right colour. They’re all out of this. And, ugh! I can’t afford that, but the set limit that everyone agreed on was 50 so I have to spend 50… Heaven forbid you get them something that wasn’t exactly what they had on their wish list…


What would make the whole process easier is if we all went out and got what we wanted and just say that this one came from you, and that one came from you…

I was told that the dreaded wish list saves time. It’s easier. … Yeah, it does save time and it’s easier to say; “Ah, Fuck It. I just can’t be bothered to get to know you, and learn about all your likes and loves. I don’t want to waste my time to come up with a special gift  for you and you alone. So tell me what you want, and I’ll get it for you. Merry Christmas!… Oh by the way, I want these things…”


But this is how it is done these days. This is not only acceptable, but expected. Admit it. During the oh so jolly Christmas Season we think about all the things we want, and we are told what to get for everyone else. So with head down, eyes forward, we file into our ranks and march forward … I want this … They want that …

I thought that I might have escaped it. For years I just didn’t participate. Then a few years ago I met that special someone, and that special someone had a wonderful family that invited me to their Christmas celebrations which included a Secret Santa or Kris Kringle…

… I do love giving gifts. I know after reading this far it may not seem so, but I do. I love getting to know the person hearing all their stories. I like to think that I’m fairly industrious and creative, so I thoroughly enjoy making as much of the gift as I can so that it’s one of a kind. There’s such satisfaction and such amazing rewards putting together or creating that very special gift specifically for that one person. …

… So for 3 years I enjoyed the gift of giving. Planning through out the year, getting to know this beautiful family. … Then it was all ripped away, and I was already down the rabbit hole. … This year they decided to add a Christmas Wish List to the Kris Kringle. I couldn’t argue. I am only the girlfriend accessory rendering me at the moment merely temporary. This was a Family decision, rooted and permanent. I tried to give other options. “How about a list of things you absolutely don’t want?” “How about a short list of hobbies and interest?” … No … Just a list of what you want me to buy you. … It was too late, I couldn’t back out, so I have to go along with it.

So what do I do now? The person I got was very specific, even added money to make up the difference in the set limit and the price. … Am I really giving them a Christmas gift? Or did I just get hired to go out and do their shopping? Do I wrap it up in Christmas paper, ribbons and bows? Will they act surprise? “Oh! It’s what I’ve always wanted! You shouldn’t have!” … I shouldn’t have? Did I have the option? Do I fain excitement of giving them a gift they told me to get them?

They are still a Wonderfully Beautiful Family, but I’m so disappointed & heartbroken. How am I going to get through this without ripping out my soul? How am I going to get through this without offending them and still stay true to myself? I know that I don’t want to do this, but I’m already in it. And I’m hoping that next year there will be other things that will require my attention and attendance so that I won’t have to go through this again. But I will suck it up for now. I will be a good girlfriend, with my head down and eyes forward marching along. … I’ll write out my angst in this blog, taking comfort in knowing that nobody that I know will read this or read all of it, all the while figuring out how, figuring out a way…


Bragging About My Leftover Garden

I’m just going to brag about my Leftover Garden. I really shouldn’t because I did nothing but throw out leftover veggies into a compost pile. Earlier this year I posted about how some of my bits and pieces actually sprouted…




I left it alone and I can’t believe what came of the cabbage. It grew so big that I had to stake it. It seeded and now there are cabbage leaves that are grown from it! I can’t help to think that this is what cabbage is like when it grows in the wild… The leaves are tasty by the way!







You might notice that there are potato plants growing as well! I have not dug them out yet but sure enough they are there along with a load of other veggies and herbs!

There’s cilantro (coriander)


… And a tomato plant!


An Avacado Tree?


Butternut Squash or Pumpkin?


Snap Peas? … Or maybe some sort of Bean?


And again, let’s not forget about the Potatoes!


I cannot wait to see what comes up next season! In a couple of weeks I’ll go and dig up potatoes and have them for dinner!

RIP M’ol Celtic Flower


We weren’t friends in Jr. High & High School. She was a cheerleader/pom squad, all the clubs, good grades, everyone loved her, she was very popular… I was an angry loner that lurked in the shadows, jumping into the light every now and again pretending to be whatever might be normal. We sat next to each other in 10th grade biology. You would remember when you sit next  to one of the more popular girls in school. Where every glance or notion your way would incite  epic movie like fantasies of everlasting friendship, holding hands skipping through fields of daisies. Or brought on the feeling of dread that were utterly apocalyptic. But those high school days stumbled on. She stayed in the spotlight and I continued lurking. When those days finally fell away, so did all the thoughts and feelings that we held so dear while we were there, and now life marched on.

Then Facebook came along. Her name keep popping up in one way or another. Just like in high school all those notions both gleeful and dreadful came flooding back. This went on for ages it seemed. Then one day, I thought, would things have been different if I just said Hi all those years ago? And said to myself what would be the harm as I sent of a friend request to the ever so popular Nikki Brewster. Much to my surprise, she accepted.

Now why she accepted I have no idea. We stayed as friends on each other’s lists for quite some time until a band came to town in Denver. I think it was called “Celtic Frost”. Living here in Ireland I was so curious that I let go of all my inhibitions  and asked who/what was this  band … And this is where our beautiful conversation started albeit so very short.

We messaged back and forth every so often, and kept up the “likes” on each other’s posts. She was hoping to visit Ireland. I was looking forward to that, when ever it may have been. … But she has now gone into that good night, our conversation abruptly ended. I wish I would have said hello earlier, but happy that I finally did. We’ll meet again someday and we will continue our conversation, revelling in your beauty & light.

Rest In Peace M’ol Celtic Flower.



Why You Need to Suck It Up and Call Yourself a Writer — northern words

In fact, my reluctance to own the title “writer” may have actually held me back from the kind of bold moves that I secretly wanted to take.

via Why You Need to Suck It Up and Call Yourself a Writer — northern words

Go Gentle


Do not go gentle into that good night?

But the moon is full, and despite the clouds the night is clear.

…It’s quite here…


Rage against the dying light?

It’s too loud, too loud…

My rage can only whisper in this roaring crowd.


Do not go gentle into that good night?

But Dylan I’m tired, so very tired.

My spirit more than broken…


Rage against the dying light?

No, I will go gentle into that good night …

Serindipitous Noises #C4N79009!

Interesting conversation I overheard between a 6yr old Daughter & her Father over the model on the box:

Daughter: Deddy, he looks like he’s constipated.

Father: I think you mean he looks like he’s concentrating.

Daughter: So are you concentrating when you can’t poop?


Oh, She’ll Figure it out


Needless to say I did not sleep well…

2 long days of anger, frustration, and utter disappointment. Managed to resolve a couple of issues and was looking forward to a proposition of solace. But the proposition bailed, and I went to sleep once again angry, frustrated, and utterly disappointed. I went to sleep in a place I did not want to be.

I know I was dreaming, but don’t remember the first 2. Just that I woke up screaming twice. The first time, I screamed “GEEEEEET OOOOUUUUUT!”, the second “STOOOOOP!”

…The 3rd one I remember to, to well…

I was bound, gagged and shackled, then beaten by every person I knew that I let within 2 steps of me. I was dragged by a chain around my neck to a cave with a shallow pit. My best friend said to me; “You don’t understand what really matters. I only want you to be happy.” Then proceeded to throw me into the pit in the cave. My boyfriend looks over the edge and says that he’s going to chill out on YouTube. People  start gathering in front of the cave. “Oh, she’ll figure it out.”  They tell each other; “So just push the button” …

There was and explosion and the walls cave in …

I woke up kicking and punching the walls of my room …

Left Over Garden


I’m always amazed how plants will always find a way to grow. We hack, rip, and litterally eat them alive. Spray them with herbicides, and pave over them. Still they will find a way. I want to go on and on about all that we can learn from plants’ determination to grow, but I wouldn’t be able to spout out anything so deep and life changing that you couldn’t figure it out for yourself.

Now I usually bury my leftovers in a designated compost area in my back garden. That’s a back yard to all my State Side buddies. Every year I get some very interesting things growing. Strange looking yellow cucumber with black seeds, or wonky looking pumpkins … well, I say pumpkins … Almost always get some kind of cross breed potatoes…

But I’ve been lazy for the past several months, and have just dumped the leftover bits and pieces without burying them. … OK, that’s a lie. I’ve been so lazy about it, that it’s my Honey Man Guy that’s been deposing of it. Well, I had a little time the other day and went out to dump the left over bits and pieces and look what I found! 2 cabbages and stalks of celery that refuse to die!


UPDATE Monday 23 April 2018:

One of the cabbages have taken root and turning into a tree! 😄



My 3rd New Years Resolution 2018 Sucks

I did it again… I made another stupid New Years Resolution to write a blog post once a week and so far I’ve utterly failed. It’s the same tired old story. Life, not enough time, work, brain fog, blah, blah, blah… Now there is a new excuse. I’ve lost it. Not that I ever had it. My outlook and perspective is jaded. My flow altered. My sense of creativity is shot and at best plagiarised.

I’ve gone through my blog posts and most of them are about how I failed at New Years Resolutions. And making New Years Resolutions. Why I made this one again? I don’t know!!! It sucks! I’ve become a ranting over middle aged woman! I have joined the club! Meaning that anything that I write will be no different than any other over middle aged ranting woman…

I’m not able to write anything unique or special. All my trials in life are no more interesting than anybody else.  I’m not computer/internet savoy to navigate through all this Word Press malarkey. I can’t afford upgrades. I don’t have a lot of followers. And many of my “friends” are in their own right writers and story tellers, and by some social construct, that makes them better and their writing more interesting than anything that I can produce… So Fuck It…

I’ll just write. I’ll just write whatever, because it isn’t going to make much of a difference to anyone. I don’t have it in me to reek havoc. So no worries on the accidental bits of enlightenment, inspiration or spiral down evoked in anybody who just might take a gander. Again, I’m just another tired, ranting over middle aged  woman. I’ll do what I know. I’ll rant. And then, like the one monkey out of a million monkeys typing at typewriters… computers… I just might write, rant, something that is worth a read.

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