My Notice Is In!

Dear-Boss-300x292

I have offically given notice. In 6 & 1/2 weeks I will be FREE from this Gangrenous Puke Rot job!

It was rather anti-climatic…

All week end I was psych’n myself up for it. I refuse to engage in anything that involved money, look at my bank accounts or even count money. I didn’t want to chicken out… Taught a seminar Sunday morning, it finished up early, thought; ‘Great! I have an extra 2 hours! I’ll take a nap!’ And that’s what what I did. You’d think it would be restful, peaceful even, because all Sunday afternoon naps usually are. But no, every 10 min or so I’d open one eye and check my phone, not just for messages from work, but to make sure I didn’t over sleep. Finally I get up to get ready. Remeber from my last post, I have to go to the coffee cafe down the way from work an hour before my shift to psych myself up for the job, which means I have to leave another hour earlier to walk to the bus stop that takes about 20min. Wait for the bus – 10 min. Then depending on traffic another 20min to 50 min  on the bus. … But as I’m putting my things together I get a few calls and several messages; “… Are you on your way? … Where are you?… ” etc… I respond; “I’m not in until 6pm”

“No”

“???”

“You work at 4 … Did you look at the roster?…”

Turns out the roster was changed and nobody thought to tell me about it. No matter, I work it out. She can stay until 6pm. I get to work, Godzilla does his compulsory punch in the gut when I walk through the door and it’s non stop  equipment malfunction, noise, noise,  louder noise, selfishly self-entitled cranky customers, & small time amature semi criminals. I manage to get them out before closing at 2am I go home in bed By 4am @ 8am I get messages from the Assistant Manager letting me know all the fallacious reasons why I am not worthy of this Manky Piss Stain job…*sigh*… Typical shift at work – I am definately putting in my notice…

Now I’m motivated. I get on the computer I write my resignation letter:

22 July 2019

Dear Bozo, Krusty, & Pennywise

Please accept this letter as notice resignation  from my role as the company’s  doormat, employee dumping ground and customer’s punching bag. My last day will be Thursday 5 September 2019.

I greatly appreciate the opportunity to bring forth my inner demons to justify areson & contemplate the downfall of all your customers, that you have provided me.

I fully intend to work all the shift that I have been scheduled, with tremendous disdain & a dark sense of sarcastic humour. I hope you and the company will continue to enjoy it’s failing success in the future.

Sincerely,

The Goddess & Creator of The 9th Ring in YOUR Hell

… My better self told me that I should keep it simple and leave out the adjatives.

I print it out in triplicate. Put it in a brown recycled environmentally friendly evelope, because we all should do more of this… Got ready for work, got on the bus, sat in the coffee shop down the way with letter in hand. I contemplate all the AMAZING things I can see and do once I’m FREE from the barbed shackles of this Pestilant Poisoned job, like: Go to sleep, eat proper meals at reasonable times, see what the live in boyfriend actually looks like…

Now I wasn’t expecting the Asst. Mgr. That I was suppose to take over from ti throw their hands up in the air curse the powers the be, fall to their knees a, begging me to stay while gripping my left ankle… Seriously, I really wasn’t. Nor was I expecting them to turn into a towering inferno of rage exiling me to my room with no dinner for a millennia screaming “GOOD RIDDANCE YOU BUMBLING BUM!”

… I’m not sure what I was expecting. I know I was expecting that they would be there…

So I come into work and take the sucker punch by Godzilla come up to the desk and find one of the other workers there. The Asst. Mgr. had to leave…

… That’s it…

Well, I still put my notice in. I messaged them saying that I will quit as of the 5 Sept. took a photo of the letter and sent it to them so that there’s some sort of time stamp. There was a bit of surprise with a “… you want to leave completely…” But not much else…

In any case … My Notice Is In! …

 

Advertisements

I’m Quitting My Job On Monday

Yes, I am. I am quitting my job on Monday.

I’m writing this as a statement to the World that I am going to quite my job on Monday… (Actually, I’m giving notice on Monday … As of Friday 6th September 2019 I QUIT! )

I have to do this, because between now and Monday, I will talk myself out of it, and try to find yet another way to cope with this goodness forsaken phuc’d up job.

I have no safety nets – NONE!

No savings.

No family … none that will give me any kind of support until I’m back on my feet, anyway…

No friends that can afford to support me, we are all suffering … Plus, in 2013 I was in dire straits. Literally portioning out a small €0.99 bag of baby potatoes for the week and waiting to see if Meals on Wheels had any leftovers for me so that I can portion that out. I had made a huge leap and took my martial arts school and left the corrupted life sucking Instructors that my school & I were being terrorized by and went out on my own. Again I had NOTHING! Then my AWESOME Friends Ben & Angel, got all my other Friends together to pitch in and send me money to help out! My GOODNESS! How that saved me! But like what Spiderman said “… Everyone, gets 1…” That was my 1. … And I have yet to honour their kindness or even returned their favour…

I am on my own…

I hate my job… I hate my job… I hate my job…

I was only suppose to be working 20hrs a week. Set hours too. It was suppose to be a part time job that helped with making ends meet while I build my school. But to help out while a girl was on maternity leave. I worked full time. When she came back, not only was I bullied relentlessly by her, she jammed up the roster where I ended up working 18hr shifts, & double shifts every unholy and holy Sunday for the better part of 2 flipping shyte years! I kept track of everything, all her calls all her texts all her notes. Every time I just had enough I would bring it all to the manager and she would get a slap on the wrist. … I would foolishly think to myself; ‘Things will get better now’ … Well of course, you know, it didn’t.

Working that many hours with no breaks, the customers turn into Grade ‘A’ Greedy Slimy Jerks! I start to imagine 50, 100, 1000 different ways you can get away with murder. I start chanting to myself ; ‘I work the awful job so I can travel! I work this awful job so I can travel! I work this awful job…”

Then there’s the ever so invasive social media that we are all now required to be on both Facebook and What’s App so the Assistant Manager can constantly send out group phuc’n messages to remind us what an AWFUL PHUC’N JOB WE ALL WORK AT, at 3  FECKIN’ A.M. in the SHITTY MORNING! … And that’s on  your day off… assholes…

Every time I take the bus to work, I desperately wish that instead of getting in the bus through the door, that I would get in the bus through the front grill …  I hate my job… I have to go to a coffee shop that’s 5 min away from my crappy poo fart job an hour before my shift starts, to phyc  myself up for work. I get queezy, nauseous as I drag my sorry ass on that 5 min walk to the front door. I feel like I just got sucker punched in the gut by Godzilla when I step inside. … I can’t breathe … Within the 1st hour the anger in me starts to boil, and the only way I can control it is to book weekends away and holidays… I have to cancel them later when I get home. … I feel that I have some freedom, some escape when I do that … I’m keeping my booking to Iceland though… By the end of my shift, I’m shaking with rage and in the past week, I’ve taken to throwing up after I close up at 2am. … Not joking … Face down in the toilet throwing up… Thank Goodness I cleaned it before … sucks that I have to clean it again… It takes me a whole day after a shift to wind down from it. I’m already consumed by the anxiety a whole day before a shift….

I gained 40lbs since I started this … this … job. I now have lipedemia, and exhibiting signs of multiple sclerosis that runs rampant in my family. My joints ache constantly. I’m always tired. I’m always angry. … I hate my job… Earlier this year, because of the stress and anxiety of this Rat Ball Slime job and sitting for 18hrs on a stool, my soas muscles seized and twisted, pulling my left leg 2in up into my hip. It cost me a fortune to go to an osteopath to work it out so that I can stand on both feet at the same time. (If you are in the Cork City, Douglas area I’d recommend Trevor if you need one. He’s FANTASTIC!) Currently my ulcers are flaring, even as I write, I have waves of searing pain ripping through my gut every time I think about this Demon Spawned job.

Recently I have had to get all my VAT & TAX for the school in order and up to date. Long story for another time & post. It was a real eye opener. My worse year financially was in 2013 when I only had 6 active students. I currently have over 20 active students, and I am bringing in ONLY 1/3 of what I brought in when I only had 6 active student in 2013! I’ve been so consumed by this Wart Stank job that I’ve not only neglected my health but I’ve neglected my school.

My conditioning is so bad, I can barely teach my classes. I know that I would not be able to do the work out that I make my beginners do. That’s really embarrassing being that I’m 6th degree black belt. Can you imagine what I can do with more than 20 active students if I wasn’t always tired, angry and in pain? If I can teach my classes with enthusiasm instead of just getting through so I can get to work. If I could not just tell them how it’s done but show them as well! My Goodness IT WOULD BE SOOOO MUCH FUN! Maybe instead of just 20 active students, there would be over 50? … If I had over 50 active students, I wouldn’t need a second job…

In the last several months there’s been a very unsavory element in the customers. Illegal activity happening in and around my place of work. I told management. They talked to the customer and fibbed. They fibbed about how the they were being watched. And now the customers are calling their bluff. I let management know. Management didn’t care. We are working alone until 2am. The crowd is getting rougher and rougher. We have no back up or recourse other than calling the guard (police) if anything should happen. The whole problem could be resolved if management would just have security do a walk through  or  2 between 11pm and 1am to make their presence known. But they couldn’t be bothered. So, I have to play security guard for less than half the hourly pay of an actual security guard. … I hate my job…

And there’s Ricky. The live in boyfriend. My love, though we haven’t had anytime to really explore it. We met. 6 months later we dated. 6 months later he moved in. 8 months later I started this WHANKTARD SNATCH PUSS job… So once again you can imagine, always tired, always angry, always physically in pain with one thing or another. Between teaching classes, and work, and his work, and whatever else it is that he does, we might get a full day to spend together … well, I’m sure we have… Over the last few years he’s shaved his gotee, grew it back, and shaved it again. Changed the style of clothes, gained weight, loss weight, I’m sure his views on life have evolved or changed, but I wouldn’t know … Always tired, angry & in pain, I barely notice when he decides to do a bit of creative man-scaping. … Maybe that’s the way it’s always been? … Gotta give the man credit for putting up with  me and sticking around all this time, still doing the dishes even! I have to wonder where we would be now if it weren’t SKANK PHUC JIZ ROT job. … Better? Worse? I know that I’m looking forward to finding out …

So, I’m quitting my job Monday, … I’m giving notice  …  In a month and a few days I will have to face a whole new set of anxieties, but I WILL BE FREE …

Wish me luck Folks! And don’t let me chicken out!

I Nearly Quit My Job

I nearly quit my job

Another double shift on Sunday 16hrs no breaks,

Scheduled to do a 10hrs on Monday night, but got a call @ 3:30am … AM …

Tired, fatigued, exhausted, back to back double shifts, 32hrs in a 48hr period,

I nearly quit my job

OK, I’ll help out, OK just one more time, OK I’ll help out until there’s more staff,

3 years later…

I nearly quit my job

Tired, fatigued, exhausted… Tired, fatigued, exhausted…

Mistakes, mistakes, mistakes… One costing me €100 …

FUCK! I just worked 10hrs for FUCKIN’ NOTHING! …

I nearly quit my job

The anxiety, chest tight, throat tight, shaking, shaking, can’t breath

Customers panic, are you OK, are you Ok, are you OK…

Dizzy, but still on my feet, calm down, calm down, calm down…

I nearly quit my job

I had it planned.

I’ll finish this shift, & not come in for the next…

I’ll finish this shift, & give 2 weeks notice…

I’ll finish this shift & quit in February before Tet…

I’ll finish this shift & quit when she comes back from holidays …

I’ll finish this shift & quit after I’m back from my holidays …

I’ll finish this shift & …

I nearly quit my job

If you hate it just quit!

If it’s affecting your health just quit!

If management won’t do that, or this just quit!

If it’s taking away from your happiness just quit!

If it’s destroying your relationships just quit!

Just quit! Just Quit! JUST QUIT!

I nearly quit my job

But what about my rent? I live paycheck to paycheck, the rent is going up

But what about my bills? Not that I have many, I’m very frugal, but they keep asking for more

But what about food? I guess I’ll go without

I nearly quit my job

inkedjob_li

 

My Stay At The Rose Hotel

136232964

 

A The Great Rose Hotel Of Tralee! A 4 star hotel where all the Roses of the Rose of Tralee stay.  It’s known to every Irish resident from Letterkenny to Dingle. Just mention the Rose Hotel to any of them and they will respond with a loving sigh followed with “Oh Lovely”.  I made the bookings nearly a year ago. Got a really good deal for 3 nights. Sat on it for a few months and then when November came around and people starting talking, when people started asking what you were going to do over the holidays, I told them that I was staying with the boyfriend at the Rose Hotel for 3 nights… “… *Sigh* … Oh Lovely!” They would proceed to tell me about the wonderful times that they spent there. And every one of them wanted to make sure I knew that the Rose Hotel is where the Roses of The Rose of Tralee stay.

So as the days approached, they all had a countdown to the day, the moment that I would arrive at the prestigious and glorious Rose Hotel. Messages through text, whatsapp and facebook; ” Are you there yet? Are you there yet? Are you there  yet?” They were like giddy kids on a road trip to Disneyland. “Are you there yet?” …

We take the 40 bus up to Tralee. We hail a passing cab because we are not sure where it was. The taxi driver reminds us that Tralee is the capital of Kerry, not Killarney and that the Rose Hotel is where all the Roses of the Rose of Tralee stay. He drives us to the front steps and we pay the €7 fee plus a €3 tip. …

… I don’t know what it was that I was expecting. Diamond chandeliers? Doormen in white gloves and top hats? Marbled floors and Wood Sprites serving us champagne when we entered? Whatever I was expecting, I can honestly say that I was expecting a lot more. It wasn’t that is was run down, filthy and the staff were nasty and rude. It just wasn’t the Rose Hotel that everybody and their little dog boasted about.

I found it to be run of the mill standard hotel. Much like the Econo Lodge  near the airport in Denver Colorado. Yes, the Econo Lodge is a discount hotel. The staff were cordial but mechanical and cold. The food was over priced. The room was adequate. The toilet didn’t flush well, so there was a certain level of anxiety that ensued whenever I had to spend more than a penny.  The shower was more complicated than an escape room. After spending an hour deciphering the code, locks, switches, knobs, buttons and pulleys, a stream of lukewarm water poured from the shower. You would have gotten better results if you  held  a garden hose that has been sitting out in the sun, over your head. ..

It wasn’t a bad stay, but for the money I paid even with the deal that I got, I know that I could have done so much better some place else. I nearly feel duped in paying for  a brand name rather than for quality stay.

Observations Going Into 2019

f

 

Every year my friends, family, co workers, & classmates all are so relieved that the previous year is over and how the new year is going to be  SO AWESOME! We go through the year without changing the way we do or think about anything, and by the end, that year can SUCK IT! And the new year , the new hope will solve all our problems and make us so ridiculous happy! … I’m rather sick of it..

I’m hoping to break this cycle of yearly disappointment. I don’t have a game plan. I really don’t have a clue. But maybe if I make an observation, I can go from there?

… People love watching other people be mean to each other.

The most viewed videos on YouTube are the ones of people yelling, screaming and fighting. I see all those videos posted up on Facebook & Twitter, about how some  guy started a fist fight with another guy over the type of cup their over priced decaffeinated almond milk macha green tea latte came in. People laugh and re-post and make their own banal comments starting cyber fights, posting more videos that are meaner to out do the previous video and more and more people are being become meaner and meaner.  Regardless of all the psychology behind this, or the excuses, or even reasons, people find watching 2 people verbally abusing & beating the crap out of each other over something trivial as entertainment. I first noticed this when that show “Curb Your Enthusiasm” came out in the the early 2000s. (Not to say that it hasn’t been going on for centuries before.) That one woman that was constantly yelling and swearing and abusing everyone, what’s her name? Everyone loved her! I heard/read how people would stop the actress that played her just to hear her yell and swear at them. I found her character rather annoying. I didn’t say that she did, because if I did then I would have been immediately sent to the stocks where everyone would throw rotten slurs at me in hopes to make themselves seem more cultured and in tune to the rhythms of society. People love watch other people being mean to each other. People love being mean. People are mean.

… Along these same lines, people love watching people get hurt… 

Again, with the You Tube, again with the Facebook & Twitter. All the same, but now it’s videos of people taking a chance, being daring, trying something new, but something goes wrong…  They fall off the trampoline and crack their neck, they slide out onto the ice, slip, break their tailbone and fall through the ice, they slip off their skateboard and crush their balls on the stair rails… And heaven forbid you might cringe, or feel bad for the skateboarder that took a chance and crushed his balls! May the social out casting being! And just the same, people post and comment relentlessly more & more brutal and tragic videos trying to out do each other on who is the dominate trend setter. Say nothing about Childish Gambino – This Is America. Have you watched it? Did you get anything from it other than thinking that it was either  rubbish or brilliant? … How far do we need to go before we stop laughing and making fun of people getting hurt and injured?

… I’ll do one more… I have a bunch of other observations in mind, but they may all be how people interact with me particularly. But this one I think a lot of people can relate to… both men and women…

…  Women trying to out bitchy each other…

Now I’m sure I’ll have every woman up in arms about this, every feminist ready to lynch me with how dare yous. I’m a woman. Even though most of my friends are men, I will see this as a woman and this is an observation that I have made numerous times. I don’t know if there is a male version of this. There probably is but I would have no idea how it manifest, because I am not a man….

I don’t know if it’s a diva thing or maybe an inflated sense of entitlement thing or just plain old competition? I don’t know how to even begin to explain it. It comes in many different forms…  One form of it might start with a legitimate complaint about a nasty comment one woman said about another about her clothes but then it spirals down to”…how dare she…”, and “…I would never…”, “… That’s just the way I am, and I’m not changing…” It spirals down into a chaos of bitchy righteous indignation & petty accusations … During this whole bitch fest, there wouldn’t be one comment or thought of the other side, or why. Why was that nasty comment made in the first place? OK, maybe it was because she was a nasty person? OK, why is she so nasty? Well, she’s always been nasty? OK, why is she always so nasty? Well, her whole family died in a car accident when she was in her 20s … Now, how productive was that bitch fest? … Another form would be some woman bitching about how people are not doing things for her and how people are not treating her in the way that she feels that she “deserves”.  The word deserves is use very loosely here… When someone calls her on her bitchiness, then there is another whole tirade of how she’s not being accepted for who she is… And there’s the rub…

I think I will have to write another bitty on this thing about women trying to out bitchy each other ‘coz I can’t put it all into clean concise outlines, sentences, paragraphs … Maybe that’s why nobody really approaches the topic and it just runs rampant like black mould in a damp bathroom.

So, getting back to what I was saying at the beginning… Maybe some of the reasons why flip the bird to the passing year and have such high hope for the new one, is because all we remember from the previous year is mean people arguing, & fighting, adventurous people getting hurt, and women being bitchy divas. It’s no wonder …

Damn The Christmas Wish List

I wrote a post before about my disdain of the Christmas Wish List. It might have been before WordPress, or even Facebook. I think I might have posted it on MySpace… Remember MySpace?

I’m certainly in the minority, or maybe the only one.

It’s fine for kids. Of course it’s great for kids. The whole ruse of if you’ve been good all year then Santa will reward you with the toys and things that you’ve wished for.  But I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about adults, grown ups, not children…

There’s something fundamentally wrong about telling other people what gifts to buy you. I can’t say why it is, or break it down scientifically or morally or in any other way. Maybe not wrong, but unpleasantly weird.

For Christmas I want this thing and I want that thing, … but we can’t appear to be greedy or materialistic so we disguise it into a “wish list” and to make it more palatable we say to each other “Let’s all make a wish list so we know what to buy you and we all can get what we want” … Everyone smiles  “Oh what a great idea” … And then the race is on. …

I have to buy this for her. I have to buy that for him. Oh! this is what they’ve been looking for for last couple of months, but it’s not on their list. This is what they want but it’s not the right colour. They’re all out of this. And, ugh! I can’t afford that, but the set limit that everyone agreed on was 50 so I have to spend 50… Heaven forbid you get them something that wasn’t exactly what they had on their wish list…

x2

What would make the whole process easier is if we all went out and got what we wanted and just say that this one came from you, and that one came from you…

I was told that the dreaded wish list saves time. It’s easier. … Yeah, it does save time and it’s easier to say; “Ah, Fuck It. I just can’t be bothered to get to know you, and learn about all your likes and loves. I don’t want to waste my time to come up with a special gift  for you and you alone. So tell me what you want, and I’ll get it for you. Merry Christmas!… Oh by the way, I want these things…”

x3

But this is how it is done these days. This is not only acceptable, but expected. Admit it. During the oh so jolly Christmas Season we think about all the things we want, and we are told what to get for everyone else. So with head down, eyes forward, we file into our ranks and march forward … I want this … They want that …

I thought that I might have escaped it. For years I just didn’t participate. Then a few years ago I met that special someone, and that special someone had a wonderful family that invited me to their Christmas celebrations which included a Secret Santa or Kris Kringle…

… I do love giving gifts. I know after reading this far it may not seem so, but I do. I love getting to know the person hearing all their stories. I like to think that I’m fairly industrious and creative, so I thoroughly enjoy making as much of the gift as I can so that it’s one of a kind. There’s such satisfaction and such amazing rewards putting together or creating that very special gift specifically for that one person. …

… So for 3 years I enjoyed the gift of giving. Planning through out the year, getting to know this beautiful family. … Then it was all ripped away, and I was already down the rabbit hole. … This year they decided to add a Christmas Wish List to the Kris Kringle. I couldn’t argue. I am only the girlfriend accessory rendering me at the moment merely temporary. This was a Family decision, rooted and permanent. I tried to give other options. “How about a list of things you absolutely don’t want?” “How about a short list of hobbies and interest?” … No … Just a list of what you want me to buy you. … It was too late, I couldn’t back out, so I have to go along with it.

So what do I do now? The person I got was very specific, even added money to make up the difference in the set limit and the price. … Am I really giving them a Christmas gift? Or did I just get hired to go out and do their shopping? Do I wrap it up in Christmas paper, ribbons and bows? Will they act surprise? “Oh! It’s what I’ve always wanted! You shouldn’t have!” … I shouldn’t have? Did I have the option? Do I fain excitement of giving them a gift they told me to get them?

They are still a Wonderfully Beautiful Family, but I’m so disappointed & heartbroken. How am I going to get through this without ripping out my soul? How am I going to get through this without offending them and still stay true to myself? I know that I don’t want to do this, but I’m already in it. And I’m hoping that next year there will be other things that will require my attention and attendance so that I won’t have to go through this again. But I will suck it up for now. I will be a good girlfriend, with my head down and eyes forward marching along. … I’ll write out my angst in this blog, taking comfort in knowing that nobody that I know will read this or read all of it, all the while figuring out how, figuring out a way…