My Resolve Is Wavering

So it’s been 2 weeks since I put in my notice to my Gangerous Slime Rot job. There was a lot of support from all the people that I know about my decision and actually following through with the notice. It was a weight lifted off my shoulders. I still felt like Godzilla suckered punched me when walked through the door. The rage still boiled up within an hour of working there, but there was a bit of hope.

I started daydreaming of all the artsy fartsy projects that I would be able to finally, finally FINNALY finish. I can clean the house, organize all the “to be filed piles” that are scattered through out the house. I would hang out in my back garden (yard) fussing about, watching spiders spin their webs. I would practice my flute and study the game of Go/Baduk/Wei Qi in futile yet aspiring hopes of becoming a master. … I will train … Everyday… Rediscovering the Shaolin forms and techniques that I let fall to the wayside because of this Manky Piss Stank job.  … My GOODNESS!  All the writing that I would do… Not that I think that I have Earth shattering thoughts & concepts, or J.K Rowling level story lines. I just want to write. I imagine myself sitting in coffee shops with my laptop, sucking the very last drop of the free cup of coffee that I will get because of a full loyalty card that I’ve been hoarding for just such an occasion. There will be a gentle rain outside softly drumming on the window like a meditative mantra. A soft angelic halo of light would surround me as I tap out the ramblings of a mandrill baboon. Ahhhhh… It would .. will be GLORIOUS! …  I would walk with my head up high, a smile from ear to ear, and no hip pain from sitting on a stool in a cramped space for 18hrs at a time! OH! I can’t wait until September 5 2019, my last day at that Puke Slime job!

… I had to pay all my monthly bills last night… My account is down to €50.  The underwriters for my Public Liability insurance have pulled out, so I need to find a new insurer. Meaning I will more and likely have to pay 2x as much as before. The outdoor drain needs to be cleared €130. The night storage heating needs to be taken out €300. The sink faucets in the kitchen and bathroom need to be replaced because they don’t turn off completely and leak €360. The roof above the kitchen is leaking. … In one months time I have to pay out another €1500 just in bills. …

… My resolve to quit this job is wavering…

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