The Wait…

Geezays! When did I give in my notice to quit this Puke Stank Job? I think it was 3 years ago! … Or was it at the end of July? My good friend Brad asked me why I gave so much notice. Well, because I wanted to be a good person. This is the time that everyone is going on holiday (that’s vacation for my state side buddies). I’m helping out, covering shifts while they are away. Although I don’t owe casino anything I don’t want to leave them hanging esp. since I might need a reference. So I’m playing nice. However I’m seriously reconsidering….

Last week I got off the bus hunched over and heavy footed. Slogged over to the coffee shop where I will weep into a cup of coffee in hopes to build up enough gusto to go to work.  On the way I just happened to be at the bus stop, at the very moment the bus that would take me back home pulled up. The doors opened and I stood there staring into the bus. People came off, people got on, and still I stood there staring into that bus. “Are you getting on?” The bus driver asked… Oh my soul died a little as I squeeked out a “No.” and walked away. Why didn’t I get on that bus?

Of course to add insult to injury, that night one of the regulars stole €50 from me. Basically jumped on a slot machine that had not been cashed out and played it down. It’s on me because I was suppose to make sure the machines are cashed out before they are in use again. I think I had to pee and thought “Oh, she’s a regular it will be fine for the 3 min. I pee…” Well, no.  She saw the opportunity and took it. She probably thought that I was leaving in a couple of weeks so there won’t be any recourse… and no, there wasn’t. I worked 5 hours for free. … More reason to quit this Manky Ass Lick job.

I am doing the very minimum while I am at work, while I’m counting down the days. 5 more shifts left by the way. I don’t vacuum (hovering). I don’t buy the snacks for the customers, just make sure there’s enough milk for the night. I don’t take the trash out unless it overflowing, or clean the front window sills that people sit on, or sweep up the cigarette butts just outside the front door, because the customers couldn’t be bothered to step out of the doorway to smoke their cancer sticks and walk all of 2 steps to toss their butts in the ashbucket that’s attached to the side of the building. I don’t even clean the bathroom or mop the floor unless it’s obvious, or just enough so that I can use it. And guess what? NOBODY NOTICED! All this time I could have gotten away with just doing the bare minimum and it wouldn’t have make an ounce of difference, because being diligent certainly didn’t.

… 5 more shifts at this Genital Slime Rot job… 1 more week left … PHUC! THIS IS PURGATORY! This is the wait where every hour gets longer and longer! This is the wait where you contemplate the demise of all the customers. This is the wait where you purposely stress your self out by blowing up the severity & urgentcy of all the bills you owe, just so you wouldn’t reduce the workplace to ashes while walking off your shift.

THIS IS THE WAIT! … 5 Shifts … 1 Week … Oh goodness help me …

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My Resolve Is Wavering

So it’s been 2 weeks since I put in my notice to my Gangerous Slime Rot job. There was a lot of support from all the people that I know about my decision and actually following through with the notice. It was a weight lifted off my shoulders. I still felt like Godzilla suckered punched me when walked through the door. The rage still boiled up within an hour of working there, but there was a bit of hope.

I started daydreaming of all the artsy fartsy projects that I would be able to finally, finally FINNALY finish. I can clean the house, organize all the “to be filed piles” that are scattered through out the house. I would hang out in my back garden (yard) fussing about, watching spiders spin their webs. I would practice my flute and study the game of Go/Baduk/Wei Qi in futile yet aspiring hopes of becoming a master. … I will train … Everyday… Rediscovering the Shaolin forms and techniques that I let fall to the wayside because of this Manky Piss Stank job.  … My GOODNESS!  All the writing that I would do… Not that I think that I have Earth shattering thoughts & concepts, or J.K Rowling level story lines. I just want to write. I imagine myself sitting in coffee shops with my laptop, sucking the very last drop of the free cup of coffee that I will get because of a full loyalty card that I’ve been hoarding for just such an occasion. There will be a gentle rain outside softly drumming on the window like a meditative mantra. A soft angelic halo of light would surround me as I tap out the ramblings of a mandrill baboon. Ahhhhh… It would .. will be GLORIOUS! …  I would walk with my head up high, a smile from ear to ear, and no hip pain from sitting on a stool in a cramped space for 18hrs at a time! OH! I can’t wait until September 5 2019, my last day at that Puke Slime job!

… I had to pay all my monthly bills last night… My account is down to €50.  The underwriters for my Public Liability insurance have pulled out, so I need to find a new insurer. Meaning I will more and likely have to pay 2x as much as before. The outdoor drain needs to be cleared €130. The night storage heating needs to be taken out €300. The sink faucets in the kitchen and bathroom need to be replaced because they don’t turn off completely and leak €360. The roof above the kitchen is leaking. … In one months time I have to pay out another €1500 just in bills. …

… My resolve to quit this job is wavering…