Today I quit…

I’ve been struggling with the Ballyphehane Bulletin & Community Noise ….

The Ballyphehane Bulletin was a monthly newsletter that I wrote and published for 2 years. To skim over the politics the funding got cut for what I feel are ridiculous reasons. That was 2 years ago. I thought that I would be able to resurrect it through Facebook. And for 2 years I’ve beating my head against the wall with it. It didn’t help that my commitments moved else where, so I wasn’t as much a part of the community as I was before… More politics… I wanted to create a newsletter and/or place that the people of the community would all participate in. Everyone from grade school to senior citizens. I wanted a place where little Katie down the street would write a story about her dog and it would be published. Or Granpa Jim would tell old war stories. Even Mary on such and such road advertising that she had some extra carrots from her garden for anyone who wanted them. I came so close to that with the publication. For 2 years every month I had people stopping me in the streets asking when the Bulletin was going to be coming out. … So so close before the funding was cut … With 10x more work, it just didn’t carry the same on Facebook…

Community Noise was a radio show that I did for, again 2 years. I started it when the funding for the Ballyphehane Bulletin was cut. There was this opportunity to basically do what I was doing with the Bulletin but on radio with a bigger audience … So I thought … The show quickly turned into a hub for community organizations to let Cork City know what they did and how the community could be involved. Over the 2 years we had over 60 organizations, groups and people come and talk on the show. But again politics, disorganization & miscommunication … My work schedule also got in the way of what is now mandatory training and meetings for volunteers plus a membership fee that had to be paid before we were allowed on air along with the constant accusation that the volunteers were not participating enough. Again, so so close…

Today I quit. It turned me inside out. Both came so close to being Great if only it was given … more time? … more support? … more money? … I don’t know … maybe a better person than me to make it all work. I know that hanging on to them is weighing me down. It’s like the residue of my failing slowly eating away at me. I feel like I just gave up. but I know that this will soon pass especially now that the residue is cleaned. And maybe, just maybe, another opportunity will arise sometime down line when I’m in a better place so that I can give a good whack at it!

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